30 Days of Hell-Mormon Housewife VS. Gay Adoption
Last night I watched a show called “30 Days”, a TV series created by Morgan Spurlock. If you don’t remember, that’s the guy that only ate Mcdonalds for 30 days, recorded the experience and turned it into a hit documentary called Supersize Me. The show was picked up by FX and began airing in June 2005. 30 Days aims to take people out of their comfort zone and immerse them in situations that challenge them at some level. For example, one show had a hunter live with a family of animal rights activists for a month.
The show I watch was titled “Same Sex Parenting”. The issue up to bat? Gay adoption. The show paired Kati, a Mormon housewife and mother of two adopted children, with Tom and Dennis Patrick who had adopted four boys out of foster care. Based only on her religious convictions, Kati believes that gay adoption is wrong and that children need a mother and a father. For 30 days she lived with the Patricks to get a firsthand look at the issue of gay adoption and same sex parenting.
Being the naïve idealist that I am, I honestly expected her to change her opinions once she experienced the reality of gay adoption and same sex parenting. After all, the only reason she was oppose to gay adoption was that homosexuality is against her religion. However, I was not surprised that Kati remained close-minded throughout the entire experiment and stuck to her opinion that gay adoption was wrong.
I can accept that. Really. People have opinions and, right or wrong, they are entitled to them. However, it quickly became obvious that Kati had put no real thought into issue of gay adoption at all, which aggravated me. If you are going to oppose something, at least take the time to get all the facts and then formulate an intelligent reason why you don’t like the idea. Instead, Kati subscribed to “The prophet sayeth so I believeth” method of reasoning. Her religion says it is wrong, so it is wrong.
Several times she was asked if she believed it was better for children to stay in foster care rather than be adopted by homosexual couples and she never answered the question. Not once. Instead she would get offended and jump on the defensive. Throughout the internet community, many people are speculating that the only reason Kati agreed to do the show was to proselytize and I agree. I felt she was more interested in being “right” than in trying to understand the issue or even see it from another perspective.
I felt she had no empathy for the plight of gay parents. In one heartbreaking scene a lesbian tells her the painful story of when her partner left her, took the child they had together and refused to let her visit him. The woman went to court over the issue but the courts were unsympathetic. Kati expressed her sympathy to the woman at losing the child but quickly followed up with a lecture that pretty much stated it was the woman’s own fault. That the situation wouldn’t have happened if she, being a lesbian, had simply chosen to not to have a child with a partner she loved. Are you serious?
Throughout the show, Kati defends herself by saying that she was entitled to her opinion and suggested that they should simply agree to disagree on the subject. However, the problem with opinions is not the belief itself but the action that is taken based on those beliefs. She clearly stated that she would vote against gay adoption and according to Dennis Patrick, she planned on actively advocating against gay adoption when she returned home. The sad thing about it is that if someone attempted to get the Mormon religion outlawed, she would be up in arms and calling on the same human rights she wants to deny the Patricks.
What makes this whole situation even sadder is that she was shown how bad it is for kids in the foster care system by two people who had grown out of it. But while she abhorred the situation, she was still against gay adoption even though denying gay adoption meant that the number of children left in the foster care system would continue to rise. She couldn’t seem to understand that there just aren’t enough heterosexual homes available to handle all of the children in foster care. In 2006 there were 510,000 children in foster care. Only 51,000 were adopted out. According to the Urban Institute, a ban on gay adoption could displace up to 14,000 children and cost the nation between $87-$130 million dollars.
Kati’s narrow-mindedness is shared by many. People like her cannot see beyond the tip of their own noses. If they had their way, no one would have any rights who did not believe or act like them. Does this sound familiar? It should. This was the basis for the Holocaust and the Spanish Inquisition.
Kati, and those like her, come from a place of fear. They are afraid that that gay marriage and gay adoption will affect them, negatively, in some way. A relative of one of the children adopted by the Patricks asked Kati how gay adoption affected her since really, well, it didn’t. Her response? It offended her moral fiber. Well you know what? It offends my “moral fiber” that you would rather see children suffer, needlessly, in foster care rather than be adopted into a loving, stable home that is provided by a couple who happen to be homosexual.
I support gay marriage and gay adoption because neither has anything to do with sexual orientation. Gay adoption is not a homosexual rights issue; it is a human rights issue. Every person on this planet deserves to love and be loved whether that love flows to and from a life partner or the care and raising of children.
Kati’s attitude really left a bad taste in my mouth which worsened when I learned that The Church of Latter Day Saints (the Mormons) is inciting its members in California to get the same sex marriage legislation overturned. So instead of expending effort towards solving the foster care problem, or alleviating child starvation and homelessness or even towards putting an end to child abuse and exploitation, these people are working hard to turn their very wrong opinions into very bad laws.
In the immortalized words of The Dictators, “What’s up with that?”
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30 Days of Hell-Mormon Housewife VS. Gay Adoption
8 Responses to “30 Days of Hell-Mormon Housewife VS. Gay Adoption”
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On the bright side, I don’t think Katie managed to convince the audience that her views were right because according to the community at 30 Days, they all seem to be bashing her. I think its really unfortunate that there are closeminded people like her out there.
Nice article. (well not nice, but you know informative and engaging and whatnot) I gotta say I have to agree with the idea that if you’re shown a different side of something, you should try and understand it. Am I gonna change my whole outlook? Probably not, but I’ll try to make some modifications. Quick example:
I have a client who can’t speak great English, which is fine, and why I was hired. Because I can. On the other hand, I had a client who also couldn’t speak great English, but when I asked for clarifications of things “I don’t understand what you’re asking, sorry. Could you repeat that last one?” He got up in arms and said, “could you just forget about my grammar, mate?” (I’m kind of a grammar Nazi, but mostly I’d just like things to be constructed in an understandable way. his questions confused the heck out of me, and i just tried to rephrase them to get the right one) As well, he was entirely unprofessional and kind of abraisive. My opinion:
Some of your clients will be foreign, and some of them will be kinda defensive about it. Are all foreigners bad? Heck no, I love the Irish accent as much as the next girl. It’s just a russian roulette kinda thing. 1/6 might irritate you. Same with Americans (in which case it’s like 1/2 might irritate you, haha, kidding)
On the flip side, if you are exposed to a different situation and maintain your opinion, it doesn’t necessarily make you wrong, depending on the way you look at it. The woman is extremely religious and believes in her opinions. On the one hand, it’s one person, what could happen? On the other, what if Hitler were a good painter?
I had a girlfriend (so clearly I’m not really against gay people, haha) who darn near fell in love with me after two days. My friends loved her, and thought she was cute, and I was driven nuts when she texted me saying she “missed me” and we’d been together for what? Three days. What is there to miss? My voice isn’t that sexy.
I’m not down with affection, I’d rather date a jack-arse. It’s my opinion. Is it wrong? That depends on your perception. (I’m totally aware that that’s a terrible example)
It’s all a matter of opinion and circumstance, I think. I’m not gonna hate the woman b/c she’s against gay people, it’s how she was raised. Do I support her? No. But just like gays haven’t affect her personally, she hasn’t effected me personally.
Hi Speakindoodles,
You’re right about that. I’ve been surfing around and even some of those in the Mormon church are speaking out against her and her views.
I think that closed mindedness is simply fear of change. Unfortunately, it produces craziness like this episode.
Hi Corey,
Your examples are very interesting Corey but I got what you were saying
It’s not that I’m against her because of her opinion. An opinion is an opinion is an opinion. Like butts everyone has one.However, the concern comes in when someone acts on their opinion.
Kati can think that gay adoption is bad all she wants but when she goes to the voting booth and votes against it, that’s when I get little hot under the collar especially when it didn’t seem to appreciate what was at stake.
Oh well, on the bright side as Speakindoodle says, she didn’t convince any one of her point of view and she actually made herself look bad.
I personally do not have anything against gay people. I have many friends who are gay and even a daughter who is gay but in my personal opinion a child if it’s going to have parents should be in a family that has a man and woman as parents.
There aren’t a lot of kids out there who have to have counseling due to the sexual orientation of their parents. I’ve read a lot of things on the child raised in a gay parent home and most of them have to have counseling to deal with the trauma of being in that kind of home.
Gay people can be very wonderful people. They can do a lot of good things. But there are also gay people who are just well, nasty. There are a lot of hetro’s that are nasty as well so it’s not just a gay thing I’m talking about.
The thing I am wondering is why these gay men adopted boys and not girls. IMHO that seems like they are adopting boys so as to indoctrinate these young impressionable boys into believing the gay lifestyle is the only way to live.
My ex-son in law took my two grandsons to a gay pride parade and pretty much forsed them to see things only the adult person should see. It was disgusting and vulgar and something that my precious grandsons shouldn’t have had to see just so they could “see the other side of reality” as their father puts it.
I think children should not have to be forsed to live in a home (by adoption) where the parents are gay because they shouldn’t have to be ridiculed or made fun of or any other thing due to the sexual orientation of their “parents”. It’s just wrong to do that to a child.
Just because someone prepares for those kinds of things for the children they adopt (like counseling etc) doesn’t make it right that they should even ever have to go to counseling because a gay couple decides they want children. It’s not fair to those children to have to deal with that OR to be indoctrinated into believing the gay life is the way life should be.
I think more hetros should adopt those children in foster care. I don’t know why they don’t. But the one thing I do have complete objection to is a gay couple ever adopting an infant. They IF they are going to adopt a child should be one in foster care who is older. Not babies.
If I had been in the era of time when gay people were allowed to adopt a child when I gave my baby away to adoption I would never have probably given him up. It’s just my opinion.
I have the same opinion about a single person adopting a child. A child should be raised in a two parent home if they are going to be adopted.
Obviously if a girl gets pregnant and chooses to keep her baby in a single parent home that’s different but an adoption should be in a two parent home and with a male and female figures to take examples from. Providing of course those homes are good homes not just any two people. A loving stable male and female parent home. JMO.
Yes I’m full of “opinions” but everyone has the right to them don’t they? Even the woman in that show who opposed gay adoptions has rights to believe however she does (as do people pro gay adoptions) whether that’s due to her religious beliefs or due to her own personal feelings and she has the right to be closed minded.
I think seriously speaking, everyone who is pro-gay adoption is also closed minded in the respect that they aren’t going to change their minds about the way they feel either. Everyone on all sides of this “opinion” thing at one point or another are going to get defensive. It’s human nature.
When someone believes something very strongly most people will get on the defensive and just shut their ears and minds to anything else to come in. I’ve seen it time and time again throughout my lifetime.
Not many people who are pro-gay adoption are going to see someone who is anti-gay adoption as anything more that “prudish” or “closed minded” or anything else because they want to believe that their way is the right way.
Believe this or not, no matter what anti-gay people think, gay people are going to get their way because they are the squeeky wheels and won’t back down no matter what. So why are so many people angry with those who are anti-gay in any respect? It’s really not going to change a darn thing for the hetros. They are still going to have to put up with things they feel are wrong and nothing can be done to change it.
I do think it’s sad that Kati didn’t try harder to see the positives of the other side. But just because there are postitives on a side doesn’t necessarily make it the best side. And just because you believe in one side of an arguement doesn’t mean one side is close minded and you are open minded. I disagree with same sex marriage and you agree so in line with your logic I should consider you closed minded and myself the only right open minded person. But I don’t consider you close minded I consider you as having your opinion which can be expanded and my opinion can also be further informed. You are just as closed minded just on the other side by your own logic. For instance, your comment saying why doesn’t the LDS church spend time helping with foster care or starving children? That reveals closed-mindedness (ie not being informed) on your part because LDS Family services is a large organization that devotes countless hours and money to finding homes for children. And the LDS church along with Catholic charities and other charities donates billions of dollars and supplies to areas effected by Hurricane Katrina and Ike, earthquakes in South America and China, and the Tsunami that happened a few years ago. So I think your opinion is also not very well researched. You and Kati share the same problem. I’m not excusing her lack of knowledge, I’m just pointing out your own.
Dear Michelle,
Thank you for stopping by my blog and sharing your thoughts with me.
Just for the record, I define close-mindedness as an unwillingness to even consider any alternative ideas to the ones a person currently holds even when faced with evidence that one’s line of thinking is in fact incorrect or even wrong.
So you are incorrect. Kati and I differ in the most important way. I do consider all sides of the argument. I look at all the angles before jumping over the cliff of an opinion. Kati decided beforehand that adoption by a homosexual couple was wrong and refused to change her mind even when faced with evidence that contradicted that belief.
That’s fine, that’s her prerogative as human being. Just as it is my prerogative to state that I don’t think she wanted to change her mind (or really even listen to the “other side”) and that she just wanted an opportunity to preach what she had been taught. To me, THAT is what makes her close-minded.
I’m pretty sure that what you say about the LDS Church is probably true. I would have to do my own research on it. But I stand by my statement that they should divert the energy they are expending in California towards other, more constructive ways. To me trying to deny other people a basic human right is just plain wrong.
Anyway, thanks again for stopping by. I hope you have a great weekend.
I am a LDS mother of 6. I do not agree with Homosexual marriage one bit. I do however think a Homosexual couple can make great parents. As long as they provide a loving and safe home. And Just for the record, my Church believes in free agency, we vote the way we want to. No one in my Church has ever said what to or how to Vote for.