How to Break Bad Habits

Previously, I wrote about a bad habit of mine where I was literally sleeping my life away. I was always late to work because I would sleep past the threshold of time when I needed to get up and ready. Most times I would wear a colorful scarf on my head and skip putting on makeup just so I could make it to work at a reasonable “lateness”. After work, I would vegetate in front of the television or aimlessly surf the internet before going to bed. On my days off I would take long naps. I estimate that I slept between ten to sixteen hours a day and would still be tired.

By December of 2007, I began to wage war against my apathetic self and the first place I attacked was my poor sleeping habits. I imposed a maximum sleeping time restriction of eight hours. Afternoon naps were forbidden. I set a bed time and an awake time that had to be kept without exception.

It was really hard in the beginning. I drank a lot of coffee, growled at people and generally hated life. But then after about a week or so the fog that had constantly surrounded me like PigPen’s dust, lifted. I began to have more energy. Coupled with the extra time, I was finally able to get my internet business off the ground.

Despite their depraved nature, bad habits in their own way try to help make us better. I wanted to avoid the reality of how much my life sucked and oversleeping was my psyche’s way of helping me out with that. The trick to overcoming a bad habit is to find out why it exists in the first place. What is the need the habit is feeding? Afterwards we can rehabilitate them so that they benefit us and not turn us into raving lunatics.

You can start the process of ditching a bad habit quitting Cold Turkey or Stepping Down. Cold Turkey is where you stop doing the bad habit immediately. This is like ripping off a Band-Aid. You get the pain over with all at once. The day I decided to tackle my sleep problem I started that night with the new schedule. I made myself stay awake until my new bedtime and the next morning when the alarm went off I forced myself to get out of bed. While it took a tremendous amount of effort and self discipline to make it through the “withdrawal” period, once I got used to the new routine, I was done.

The drawback to this approach is that, depending on the habit, you could be setting yourself up for failure. Some addictions such as alcoholism can kill you if you stop suddenly. Other bad habits are so ingrained in us that it would take too much effort to stop all at once. The first week of withdrawals would overwhelm us and cause us to give up.

This is where the Step Down approach for breaking a bad habit comes in. With the Step Down method, you gradually reduce the number of times you do the bad habit until you don’t do it anymore. If I had used this method, I would have cut down the number of hours I slept each week until I had reached my goal. One week I would have slept only ten hours a day and then the next week only nine hours a day and so on and so forth.

The benefit of this method is that it doesn’t require as much effort and self discipline as it would if you were to stop Cold Turkey. The pain is spread over a period of time. The drawback is that it could take longer to get rid of the habit. It also presents a catch 22, where continuing the habit also reinforces the dependence on it. Instead of searching for alternatives that feed the cause of the habit a person using the Step Down method may resort to the habit as a coping mechanism.

But for those that have difficulty in the area of self discipline, this is the perfect alternative to trying to quit all at once. As a bonus, at any time during the step down process, you can go Cold Turkey.

Here are some tips to help you be successful in your quest of a bad habit free existence.

Find a Replacement

As mentioned earlier, your bad habits exist to fill a need whether that need is emotional, physical, psychological or all of the above. Taking that habit away will leave a void that needs to be consciously and deliberately filled by you or it will be filled with the first alternative that comes along. Worse you could end up falling back into the bad habit.

Think about what the habit does for you. Do you feel it relaxes you? Does it make you feel in control? Get to the heart of the matter. When you have figured out what it is that you get from that bad habit, find something to replace it that you will enjoy equally and that is better for you. Don’t be afraid to try different things.

In my case, I took up journaling. Instead of trying to run away from my life, I use my journal to confront the challenges in my life. Writing in it offers a sense of clarity. The very act of writing makes me feel as though I’m doing something to improve my life even if all I write that day is about how much my life sucks!

If you are doing the step down approach, swap out the instances of rhe bad habit with instances of a good habit. For example, if you are working to quit smoking, at the time when you would have had a cigarette, go for a walk instead. What you are doing is reconditioning your mind to do the good habit rather than the bad one.

Plan, Plan, Plan

Take the time to plan what you will do when you run up against the many opportunities to fall off the wagon. My “office” is in my bedroom so the temptation to take a nap is pretty great. There are times when I come home from work so tired that all I want to do is go straight to bed but it’s not my “bed time” yet. To handle this, I find something more interesting than sleeping to do. This may be working on a web template or writing a blog post. On really bad days, I start to clean my room. The goal is to divert my attention from the bad habit to something more productive.

Think of all the situations you will run into when you kick your bad habit to the curb. In fact, before you quit, log your actions in a journal. For instance, whenever you smoke write down what led you to take that action. Were you stressed? Did you have a craving? Was someone else smoking and you felt like you should too? Having a log will help you to identify triggers for the bad habit. With this information you can plan for what to do when you run into one.

Focus Only on the Present Day

If you are torturing yourself by imagining that it will take years for you to be free of your bad habit, stop right now. Just stop it. Don’t make me come over there. Quitting a bad habit is one of those times in your life when you should ignore the big picture and focus on making it through each day. Although it won’t seem like it at first, each day you go without engaging in your bad habit will make you stronger. Each day, the bad habit’s grip on you will loosen and as your self-discipline grows it will be easier to just say no.

Focus on the Benefits

Instead of constantly thinking about what you are losing turn your focus to what you are gaining. Make a list of all the positive things that will come from doing away with the bad habit. Post that list everywhere; on your refrigerator, in the car, at your desk. Memorize it. When negativity arises, switch your focus to the list of benefits. This will serve to raise your spirits and encourage you to continue rather than drag you down.

Get a Support Group

Having a support group accomplishes two things. One, it gives you someone to vent to when things get tough. Two, your support will help keep you accountable. This is why you want to make sure to get someone, or several someones, who will get on your case when they see you slipping.

Nowadays there is a support group for pretty much everything. Look in the yellow pages or search online. If you are unable to find one consider starting a group. If you don’t want to do that, then find a really good friend to help you out. If you have no friends, then consider this an opportunity to start making some.

Get Rid of Temptation

Get rid of all the things that tempt you into performing the bad habit. This includes doing away, or limiting your interaction, with people who encourage the bad habit. Spend time with people who don’t engage in the behavior or who have successful overcome the bad habit themselves.

Another thing to do is to change other habits that support the bad habit. For instance, if you always go to a particular store to pick up a pack of smokes, avoid going to that store. If you always smoke after lunch, go for a walk instead. The goal here is to get rid of all the things that encourage the bad habit.

To help combat the temptation to lie in bed after the alarm clock went off, I immediately start my morning routine of taking a shower, doing my hair and putting on makeup. This puts me into the mindset of starting the day and there is no way I’m going to mess up my hair after spending all that time on it by getting back into bed.

Breaking a bad habit is a challenge, no doubt about it. But believe me the exchanging of a bad habit for a good one is well worth it. Focus on success and it will come to you.