Life is Supposed to Feel Good

For as long as I could remember, I’ve felt bad about life. It started in childhood with physical abuse by a parent. Later, I had the bad luck to crossed paths with two sexual predators resulting in molestation and rape. I learned, pretty early on, to console myself with food so by my teen years I was overweight. When I became old enough to work, I got a job which introduced me to another way to self medicate myself; spending money. By the time I was twenty-five, I had declared bankruptcy twice.

On the surface it would seem that feeling bad about life in general and myself in particular was justified. After all, if I hadn’t suffered abuse as a child or had been taken advantage of by sexual predators or hadn’t been ridiculed or didn’t get into fights with people or had been more responsible with money then my life wouldn’t be in such a state of disrepair. It might even be downright perfect and I would have nothing to feel bad about. Right?

Meeting My Higher Self

My dreams come in three different flavors; Regular, Precognitive and Enlightening. Regular dreams are the by-products of my mind organizing itself and assimilating the information accumulated that day. Precognitive dreams are glimpses into the future. I’ve had several of these throughout my life and I recognize them by an acute sense of Déjà vu coupled with memories of the dream when they come true. Enlightening dreams are lessons that I need to learn. Since I began my pursuit into Lucid Dreaming, I’ve had three of this kind including last night’s dream.

Lucid Dreaming

On Friday (January 18th), I had a lucid dream or rather a moment of lucidity in my dream. If you are unfamiliar with the concept, Lucid Dreaming is the act of waking up in your dreams. You are not awake per se but rather you become aware that your physical body is asleep and that you, in fact, are dreaming.

I can’t remember everything that happened. I do remember there were a lot of people going to and fro and it was in the midst of this chaos that I suddenly becoming “aware”. Having read about lucid dreaming in the weeks prior, I knew that my window of opportunity was small.